George Zimmerman...How Do I Feel

Nothing...I know that this is a sad realization, but that's honestly how I feel right now.  On the night that the verdict came out, my wife calls me...worried...and asks me to be careful tonight while I am on my gig in San Francisco, CA.  I guess I kinda feel bad for not feeling anything, but then again I don't.  The reasoning behind this is because feeling about things of this nature, and having passion for things of this nature makes you weird.  It's perfectly acceptable for someone to have passion for the environment or whales or vegan lifestyles, but when you are passionate about racial inequities or class inequities, or political inequities you are immediately identified as one of 'those guys'.  And in America being one of 'those guys' removes you from a lot of social interaction lists.

I'm not sure when I devolved into this mindset, but I can tell you that it probably has a lot to do with being a black guy in an education environment.  I can remember the first time I actually had the thought "Be careful Kenny!!! Don't say anything."  It was right after Obama was elected for his first term.  Being the youngest of 3 black teachers on campus, I guess I was the easiest for people to talk to.  One of my administrators comes up to me and says, "Now that Obama has been elected, I guess that means we're past the race issue now, right Kenny?"  I replied with an, "I don't know."  But I wanted to stand on my soap box and call upon my inner every-angry-Samuel-Jackson-character and reply along the lines that this isn't the end of racism, but only the beginning of racism shifting to another, more sophisticated state.  I imagine that this was the beginning of me starting not to feel anything about the issue of race.

In all honesty, this is how I feel about a lot of things.  This is how I'm beginning to feel about politics and social programs as well.  I think it's one of those things where people will ask me how I feel about something hoping that I actually have not put much thought into these things.  For the past 5 years, I have put out a plea for someone to have an educated conversation with me about a whole range of issues from Christianity, to Politics, to race and class issues, and not one person has stepped up to the plate.   A lot of people like my responses, but no one actually says ok.  And, quite frankly, the willingness of someone to make a blanket statement about a group of people or a situation pisses me off.  Not because I belong to that group involved in the blanket statement, but because it's based on people not doing their homework on the stuff they hear.  I'm sure that everyone just thinks that I'm talking about Fox News, or other conservative outlets, but the liberal outlets are guilty of it too.

The real problem with our society is the unwillingness to face the issues head on and have that tough discussion.  This is the reason why our deficit is so high, because we don't want to face the issue and have the tough conversation.  This is why we owe China so much money, because we don't want to have to face the issue and have the tough conversation.  This is why we have such a huge divide on abortion, gay marriage, gun control, taxes, affirmative action, immigration, and all the other issues that we let both sides of the media blow up into these huge, complicated things; when the solutions are extremely simple.  I know what you're thinking..."Oh wait Kenny, you don't really believe that immigration is simple.  You're crazy if you think that a huge problem like immigration is simple."  If you think this, let me ask you do you even know what's holding up immigration reform? One of the issues is that most Democrats want to give the illegal immigrants who have been in America that have served, or are currently serving, in our military AND the illegal immigrants who have graduated from, or are currently attending,  college American citizenship; where most Republicans want these group of illegal immigrants to jump through 13 years of hoops in order to become a bona fide American.  Are you telling me that a group of sensible people like you or me can't come up with a solution if we sat down and had a conversation about this.  Seems like a no-brainer right???

But that's what happens when you let people who make their living off of making the laws scare you into voting for them so that they can keep their jobs.  This is why I don't feel when something as awful as a kid being shot by an adult because that adult followed him home.  This is why I don't feel anything when an adult kills a kid because he felt afraid for his life.  This whole thing reminds me of this South Park episode http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/149674/its-coming-right-for-us.  Not saying that the Stand Your Ground laws are anything like this...well yeah I pretty much am.

So how do I feel about the Trayvon Martin situation.  I feel that until we, as a nation, are prepared to have a hard conversation with each other, that we are doomed to spiral down the same drain of results when similar situations occur.  Sorry if I called everyone out, but I'm just thinking out loud.

"I Gotta Have Faith-Faith-Faith-ahhhhhh" --George Michael

Hey Everyone,

I want to share a little bit of something that's been on my mind for a while now. As many of you know, I'm a Christian. I'm sure that this comes as no surprise to the 7 of you that read this. Right now, I'm just hoping that quoting George Michael for the title of this blog doesn't move me out the express lane in Heaven. I think the one thing that most of you appreciate about me is that I don't try to force my religious opinions down your throats. I think this is a common misconception about what it means to be a Christian. Anyways, I want to talk about faith for a minute. I know that many people don't like to read much anymore, and if I were to get a picture of kittens and make a meme, it would probably be a lot more effective, but just be patient with me for a little bit and I'll get to the point.

As I said before, I wanted to talk about faith. The reasoning for this self-exploration is because I've been able to have quite a few conversations with Christians and it always comes to the point of trying to prove that Christianity is the right way to live. There's always derivations from scripture and speculation. Then all of this is wrapped into a pretty little bow and touted as fact. Now, this is where I get a little bit confused because despite my agreement to everything that this person has presented, everything that he has given me is still based on my faith, not on fact. The Bible says that, “without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that he exists...” The Bible also says that faith is the, “conviction of things not seen.” If this is the case, then regardless of how awesome anyone is at linking historical facts to the Bible and making convincing arguments based on the relationship between multiple sources and references in the Bible, nothing can be proven because it's all based on things that we cannot see.

My frustration lies with this whole viewpoint of if I don't agree with you then I am not a real Christian and I'm not being true to the Bible. I'm tired of people downplaying my devotion to my faith because I accept the fact that I cannot prove anything. I can't prove that Jesus died on the cross and rose again three days later. I have faith that he did, which is why I'm a Christian. But the second I try to prove that to another person, I'm not acting in faith that God will reveal Himself to them. I'm not believing that God will use my words to reach those who have ears to hear and eyes to see. I'm not acting in a way that shows that I believe that I am enough for His plan because I feel that I need more proof to convince because deep down I don't feel that faith is enough. I'm not sure if anyone has ever explained it this way to me, or anyone else for that matter. How am I acting in faith if I don't believe that God has given me all that I need to be successful. The cool thing about us is that God gave us free will. He gave us the ability to choose, to reason, to make the best decision for our lives. This means that we have the freedom to make bad decisions too. Why is this ok in every other aspect of our lives except for our spiritual lives? Why can't we Christians understand that we can't make other people believe what we believe? The great commission says to go and teach all nations. It doesn't say go make them learn. One thing that I've come to understand as a teacher is that I can teach to the best of my ability, I can come up with the best analogies, lesson plans, assessments, and assignments possible; but if a student doesn't want to learn it, there's nothing I can do about it. If a student doesn't have ears to hear and eyes to see, what more is my responsibility. I'm not saying give up on teaching them, I'll come up with another plan, or bring someone else in to help and say it a different way. But at the end of the day, it's that person's choice to learn, believe, accept, convert, etc.

So as one Christian to the universe, let me begin this conclusion with I love you all. I pray that you all will experience the joy that I have in the relationship that I have with my Savior. I pray that the shortcomings of us Christians as humans does not keep you from experiencing the amazing love of God. I also pray that Christians will begin to have faith that Jesus will use their words to touch the hearts of those with ears to hear and eyes to see, and that there is no amount of proof in the world that will create a conviction in the things that are not, and cannot be, seen. The sad fact is that when you can prove it, it'll be too late. Sorry if I've upset a lot of my Christian friends, but I'm just thinking out loud.