George Zimmerman...How Do I Feel

Nothing...I know that this is a sad realization, but that's honestly how I feel right now.  On the night that the verdict came out, my wife calls me...worried...and asks me to be careful tonight while I am on my gig in San Francisco, CA.  I guess I kinda feel bad for not feeling anything, but then again I don't.  The reasoning behind this is because feeling about things of this nature, and having passion for things of this nature makes you weird.  It's perfectly acceptable for someone to have passion for the environment or whales or vegan lifestyles, but when you are passionate about racial inequities or class inequities, or political inequities you are immediately identified as one of 'those guys'.  And in America being one of 'those guys' removes you from a lot of social interaction lists.

I'm not sure when I devolved into this mindset, but I can tell you that it probably has a lot to do with being a black guy in an education environment.  I can remember the first time I actually had the thought "Be careful Kenny!!! Don't say anything."  It was right after Obama was elected for his first term.  Being the youngest of 3 black teachers on campus, I guess I was the easiest for people to talk to.  One of my administrators comes up to me and says, "Now that Obama has been elected, I guess that means we're past the race issue now, right Kenny?"  I replied with an, "I don't know."  But I wanted to stand on my soap box and call upon my inner every-angry-Samuel-Jackson-character and reply along the lines that this isn't the end of racism, but only the beginning of racism shifting to another, more sophisticated state.  I imagine that this was the beginning of me starting not to feel anything about the issue of race.

In all honesty, this is how I feel about a lot of things.  This is how I'm beginning to feel about politics and social programs as well.  I think it's one of those things where people will ask me how I feel about something hoping that I actually have not put much thought into these things.  For the past 5 years, I have put out a plea for someone to have an educated conversation with me about a whole range of issues from Christianity, to Politics, to race and class issues, and not one person has stepped up to the plate.   A lot of people like my responses, but no one actually says ok.  And, quite frankly, the willingness of someone to make a blanket statement about a group of people or a situation pisses me off.  Not because I belong to that group involved in the blanket statement, but because it's based on people not doing their homework on the stuff they hear.  I'm sure that everyone just thinks that I'm talking about Fox News, or other conservative outlets, but the liberal outlets are guilty of it too.

The real problem with our society is the unwillingness to face the issues head on and have that tough discussion.  This is the reason why our deficit is so high, because we don't want to face the issue and have the tough conversation.  This is why we owe China so much money, because we don't want to have to face the issue and have the tough conversation.  This is why we have such a huge divide on abortion, gay marriage, gun control, taxes, affirmative action, immigration, and all the other issues that we let both sides of the media blow up into these huge, complicated things; when the solutions are extremely simple.  I know what you're thinking..."Oh wait Kenny, you don't really believe that immigration is simple.  You're crazy if you think that a huge problem like immigration is simple."  If you think this, let me ask you do you even know what's holding up immigration reform? One of the issues is that most Democrats want to give the illegal immigrants who have been in America that have served, or are currently serving, in our military AND the illegal immigrants who have graduated from, or are currently attending,  college American citizenship; where most Republicans want these group of illegal immigrants to jump through 13 years of hoops in order to become a bona fide American.  Are you telling me that a group of sensible people like you or me can't come up with a solution if we sat down and had a conversation about this.  Seems like a no-brainer right???

But that's what happens when you let people who make their living off of making the laws scare you into voting for them so that they can keep their jobs.  This is why I don't feel when something as awful as a kid being shot by an adult because that adult followed him home.  This is why I don't feel anything when an adult kills a kid because he felt afraid for his life.  This whole thing reminds me of this South Park episode http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/149674/its-coming-right-for-us.  Not saying that the Stand Your Ground laws are anything like this...well yeah I pretty much am.

So how do I feel about the Trayvon Martin situation.  I feel that until we, as a nation, are prepared to have a hard conversation with each other, that we are doomed to spiral down the same drain of results when similar situations occur.  Sorry if I called everyone out, but I'm just thinking out loud.

"I Gotta Have Faith-Faith-Faith-ahhhhhh" --George Michael

Hey Everyone,

I want to share a little bit of something that's been on my mind for a while now. As many of you know, I'm a Christian. I'm sure that this comes as no surprise to the 7 of you that read this. Right now, I'm just hoping that quoting George Michael for the title of this blog doesn't move me out the express lane in Heaven. I think the one thing that most of you appreciate about me is that I don't try to force my religious opinions down your throats. I think this is a common misconception about what it means to be a Christian. Anyways, I want to talk about faith for a minute. I know that many people don't like to read much anymore, and if I were to get a picture of kittens and make a meme, it would probably be a lot more effective, but just be patient with me for a little bit and I'll get to the point.

As I said before, I wanted to talk about faith. The reasoning for this self-exploration is because I've been able to have quite a few conversations with Christians and it always comes to the point of trying to prove that Christianity is the right way to live. There's always derivations from scripture and speculation. Then all of this is wrapped into a pretty little bow and touted as fact. Now, this is where I get a little bit confused because despite my agreement to everything that this person has presented, everything that he has given me is still based on my faith, not on fact. The Bible says that, “without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that he exists...” The Bible also says that faith is the, “conviction of things not seen.” If this is the case, then regardless of how awesome anyone is at linking historical facts to the Bible and making convincing arguments based on the relationship between multiple sources and references in the Bible, nothing can be proven because it's all based on things that we cannot see.

My frustration lies with this whole viewpoint of if I don't agree with you then I am not a real Christian and I'm not being true to the Bible. I'm tired of people downplaying my devotion to my faith because I accept the fact that I cannot prove anything. I can't prove that Jesus died on the cross and rose again three days later. I have faith that he did, which is why I'm a Christian. But the second I try to prove that to another person, I'm not acting in faith that God will reveal Himself to them. I'm not believing that God will use my words to reach those who have ears to hear and eyes to see. I'm not acting in a way that shows that I believe that I am enough for His plan because I feel that I need more proof to convince because deep down I don't feel that faith is enough. I'm not sure if anyone has ever explained it this way to me, or anyone else for that matter. How am I acting in faith if I don't believe that God has given me all that I need to be successful. The cool thing about us is that God gave us free will. He gave us the ability to choose, to reason, to make the best decision for our lives. This means that we have the freedom to make bad decisions too. Why is this ok in every other aspect of our lives except for our spiritual lives? Why can't we Christians understand that we can't make other people believe what we believe? The great commission says to go and teach all nations. It doesn't say go make them learn. One thing that I've come to understand as a teacher is that I can teach to the best of my ability, I can come up with the best analogies, lesson plans, assessments, and assignments possible; but if a student doesn't want to learn it, there's nothing I can do about it. If a student doesn't have ears to hear and eyes to see, what more is my responsibility. I'm not saying give up on teaching them, I'll come up with another plan, or bring someone else in to help and say it a different way. But at the end of the day, it's that person's choice to learn, believe, accept, convert, etc.

So as one Christian to the universe, let me begin this conclusion with I love you all. I pray that you all will experience the joy that I have in the relationship that I have with my Savior. I pray that the shortcomings of us Christians as humans does not keep you from experiencing the amazing love of God. I also pray that Christians will begin to have faith that Jesus will use their words to touch the hearts of those with ears to hear and eyes to see, and that there is no amount of proof in the world that will create a conviction in the things that are not, and cannot be, seen. The sad fact is that when you can prove it, it'll be too late. Sorry if I've upset a lot of my Christian friends, but I'm just thinking out loud.

You Can't Spell Liberty or Liberal Without Liber...Does This Make Them Cousins

I was called a funny name the other day.  One of my friends called me a liberal, extremist, offensive dictator.  This made me laugh initially because our president has only been called a liberal, muslim socialist.  So I guess this makes me a little bit better than him.  Just kidding, but on the real how can one be a liberal and a dictator?  How can I be a dictator in general when I have no political post?  This is confusing to me in the instance that the root of liberal, liber, means "free one"...look it up.  Well, I guess in the case of dictators being the only one in a dictatorship that is free, that makes sense.  But if liber means "free one", I can't be liberal if I'm a dictator because liberal means favorable to, or in accord with, concepts of maximum individual freedom possible, especially as guaranteed by law and secured by governmental protection of civil liberties.  Last time I checked, that is not the definition of a dictator.

So I understand that politics makes people crazy.  But why is it so partisan nowadays.  Perhaps I just wasn't tuned in to the way politics worked back in the day.  But I think even the old people would agree that this has gotten way out of hand.  People called liberals are against liberty...how does this work.  Both have the same root word.  If liberty means freedom, and liberals are favorable toward maximum individual freedom, how can anyone with half a brain say otherwise?  Perhaps the people that are screaming this are uniformed...or perhaps they are just stupid.  I think that a lot of people are confusing liberty and choice.  There are certain things that we don't really have the freedom to do.  Like I don't have the freedom to yell fire in a crowded movie theater or kill someone.  Well I guess I do, however if I do choose to exercise my freedoms in this way,  then I have to face the consequences.  However, in the case of health care, hospitals don't have the liberty to refuse service to people without health insurance that have no ability to pay for the treatment they receive.  So this means that people who pay for their healthcare pick up the additional costs associated with it.  I am in agreement for people without health insurance having the liberty not to purchase health insurance if I can have the liberty of not covering their costs when they can't afford the treatment.  Does anyone without health insurance really have an extra $1700 laying around to fix a broken arm???

I realize that a lot of things changing scare people.  I'm sure people were scared when they started sailing the oceans because they thought the world was flat and they would fall off the edge of the earth. I'm sure that people were scared about the world being round because they believed so long it was flat. I'm sure that people still think that minorities are out to steal their stuff and that the real problem with our economy is that illegal immigrants are stealing jobs.  BTW---Who are the people hiring the illegal immigrants to work at these companies??? I'm pretty sure that their not coming into companies and holding CEO's and HR managers by machete point until they relent and hire them for a job that pays way too little.

As I've been saying in my recent Facebook posts, we need to educate ourselves and have an informed discussion about the real issues that effect us.  I believe this used to be called a debate when I was younger.  Right now we have a bunch of adults yelling at the top of their lungs about the one thing that the other has done wrong, knowing full well that they've done things wrong too.  So the moral of the story, don't do drugs...but if you do decide to continue your ignorance, don't come at me sideways with your liberal extremist, dictator garbage speak.  And if you don't like what I say in response...don't mind me, I'm just thinking out loud.

Separate Is Not Equal

Dear America, when will we realize that separate is not equal.  It seems that throughout our history, we have always tried to come up with institutions that allowed us to divide members of our society and treat them as identical, having the same rights.  When will we realize that this is not the case?  Every time it results in the same thing, the disenfranchising and persecution of an entire culture of society to the point that violence erupts and lives are lost. George Santayana has warned us that, “Those who cannot learn from history are doomed to repeat it.”  If we do not wake up, we are destined to repeat the same violence against our friends and family that we have perpetuated since the civil war.  Now, just think about that.  Since the civil war, we have had a history of conflict and bloodshed as a result of not giving people the rights that our constitution has promised ALL OF ITS CITIZENS!!! Not just the wealthy, white, heterosexual…but all.  I fear that if we don’t recognize this as a right to all citizens, then we are dooming ourselves to repeat the same fate as all of those who have come before us.

Now, let me preference everything by saying that I am a Christian.  I was raised in the Christian church and in a Christian home.  My parents were Christians before I was born.  I do not believe homosexuality is a choice.  I believe that practicing anything, be it homosexuality or heterosexuality is a choice.  What I mean by this is; that by being heterosexual, I have the choice to practice heterosexuality and engage in heterosexual relationships...or not to do so.  If I were homosexual and Christian, and if I believed what a lot of Christians believe the bible says, I could choose not to engage in a homosexual relationship; maintaining this same definition of what a Christian should do based on the Law listed in Leviticus.  Now, the issue here is what does the Bible really say about government.  If we all look at Romans 13:1-7, it tells us that God has established governments and that we should subject ourselves to it.  It goes on to say that if you do not subject yourselves to the authority of our government, then you should, “be afraid…They are God’s Servants, agents of wrath to bring punishment on the wrongdoer.”  Nowhere does it say that me, as a Christian, should be against the rights protected to all citizens under the law.  In fact, if I want to be a good Christian then I need to make sure that, “I do unto my neighbors and I would have done unto me.”  And I know that I definitely do not want anyone to say that I can’t marry anyone that I want to marry and having the same rights as someone else has.  However, read the verse yourself to make sure that I'm not lying to you.

So here’s my point America, or the three of you that read this in America, the law is clear.  All citizens have the constitutional right to get married.  If everyone didn’t believe this, then Republicans would not continue to try to rewrite the constitution, defining marriage as being between a man and a woman.  And heterosexual, Christian, Black people, we need to get over ourselves as a culture.  It's not like we are the only people in American society to be discriminated against.  If you can't see the parallels between what blacks went through after slavery to what homosexuals are going through, then you are in denial.  It took us until 1967 until we had the freedom to marry anyone we wanted, as long as they were of the opposite sex.  Here we have the opportunity to make sure that every citizen has the same rights as far as marriage is concerned.  We need to understand that just because people say it’s ok for someone to do something does not mean everyone has to do it.  But separate is not equal, civil unions will never be marriages.  Sorry if you find my message offensive, I’m just thinking out loud.

Canned

Well officially, it's been since March that I've known I would not be rehired by the school that I spent 5 years working for. It's funny, people usually have hurt emotions and things of that sort when this sort of thing happens. I don't feel that way. Of course, there is a little bit of resentment that goes along with the fact that someone says that they don't want you around anymore, especially after the time that you dedicated to establishing something that has become special. For the two (out of five) of you that are reading this and don't know me, I was a music teacher at Willow Glen High School and Willow Glen Middle School for the past 5 years. With the total buy in of the students, I built the program from decomposition to something that is of substantial quality. We had maybe 12 high school students in the program and last year we had around 80 students participating in the high school program, not including the 30 that were in a guitar class. The middle school had the same growth and the program grew from barely having enough students for two band classes, to having 4 fully enrolled band classes.

Now, some of you might say, "Well that's can't be true. A school would never fire someone who's done that much work." I would have to say that up until March 11, 2011 I would have agreed with you. But I feel confident that if you were to speak to any of the parents of the students I taught, they would confirm this story. Others might say, "Well you must have done something to make the principal not rehire you." And I guess fundamentally, at some point you are correct. There must have been something that the principal didn't like. However, I ask you this, what's the most important thing: a teacher that is doing their job with the students extremely engaged, or the principal not liking something about my personality? Now, I don't want people to think that I am saying I was perfect. I am definitely not that guy, however, the issues that someone might have with me is easily fixable, nor are they even close to the scope of other issues that principals have with other teachers.

So now that we know what happened, it's time to deal with the issue at hand. My status, as of right now, is non reelect. I have done a little research and most people who are deemed this way are given the option, suggestion, to resign their position at the end of the year. Due to the economic situation, I can't find another job, unless I am prepared to move out of the state, as a result of there being absolutely no jobs for music teachers, especially music teachers that have been deemed non reelect. So basically, I was screwed. Not saying this to have people march on the district office, or the principal's office for that matter, but just so that people can understand what really happens in education and why so many people get out of the profession altogether. Now, here's the kicker...had I elected to resign, by doing so, I could have forfeited all claims to any unemployment benefits.

So I'm not sure what's going to happen in the future. I'm either going to become financially independent, or I'm going to go hungry. I am not going to let anyone else have that much control over my future anymore. I was told that I needed to go to school and get good grades so that I can have a good job. Well if that is what a good job is, I don't ever want a job again. It's time for me to start doing the things that I've dreamt of. All of those who are with me, come on there's room for all of you. Time to get to work. It's time to stop thinking out loud and start living out loud. See you all at, or from, the top.

Osama's Dead...Now What???

In the days following the announcement of the death of Osama Bin Laden, it seems that America is a much safer place. I don't feel the stress I felt a week before when I knew that Osama was still out there plotting the demise of my freedom. Now that he's gone, I don't have to worry about the threat level because it's returned to green. I don't have to worry about taking my shoes and belt off in order to get on a plane. I can even carry large tubes of toothpaste in my carry on bag and not worry about having to suffer through a body cavity search. Yup, it seems like everything is gone away, except for the chants of U-S-A echoing in my ears as thousands of baseball fans celebrated after the news of Osama's death was learned. It just seems like things can't get any better.

Wouldn't that be amazing if it were true. Unfortunately, we still don't have enough jobs for millions of Americans. We still have a trillion dollar deficit. We still have troops fighting in wars that we need not be involved in. We still have a dependence on foreign oil, which has been linked to Osama's funding. We still have Osama's buddies hanging out waiting for the next opportunity to attack. And I still don't have my flying car.

In a time where we should be rallying together in an attempt to fix our situation, we still stay divided on issues. This divide only exists as a result of political ideology. Unfortunately, can't see past the donkey or the elephant in order to get things done. The whole political arena is designed to divide us common people in order to keep those in power with power. It would be amazing to see what happens when we get together and start demanding that congress do what's best for all of us. Perhaps, instead of cheering for the death of someone, we should demand a change in the way that this country is ran. We should demand more from our leaders and how they lead and govern. This isn't me being unAmurrican , I'm just thinking out loud.

Maybe They Really Just Don't Care About You

Sorry for the break in action everybody, but I was on vacation, and it was glorious. I went to Maui for two weeks, and I just have to say that you all need to set aside time to travel. I guess it's a lot easier for me since my job dictates that I have two weeks off at Christmas and two months of during the summer. But anyways, back to the topic. I'm sure you have all been inundated with video clips and audio clips about this Dr. Laura Schlessinger lady. Maybe many of you guys listen to her on a regular basis. And perhaps even more of you, for some reason, agree with what she says. But regardless of how you feel, is it really a surprise that this has happened?

For those of you guys who haven't heard, this Dr. Laura Schlessinger lady used the "n" word 11 times in a tirade, which I assume stemmed from her not being able to say it. However, she said it 11 times, which begs the question can white people really not say that word. I would argue that you can do anything you want, but you need to understand that everything has a consequence. I could go into a crowded movie theater and yell fire, but I'd have to accept being thrown in jail for public safety violations. I could go into a meeting consisting of all confederacy supporters and talk negatively about Jefferson Davis, but again I would have to face the consequences of my actions. The same goes with unassisted human flight and unaided breathing underwater. During her rant, she argued with several Black and African-American listeners of her show about their double standards in the use of that word. She then apologized and said that she was trying "bring awareness" to a situation that was divisive to American society.

With the increasing amount of people who I have heard state that racism is not a factor anymore, it's not really that surprising to me that these types of events have continued to happen. In these times, it seems that the only way you can get your message out is by making outrageous statements and then leave it up to the public to sort out the details. It's not really important to a lot of talk show hosts to be accurate in their statements. What's important is getting people to tune in so that they can make money on advertising. They don't really care about telling you the absolute truth because they assume that you will do your due diligence and research the information to see if it is accurate. I mean, that's what any rational, clear thinking American would do right. For example, when the birthers said that Obama was not born in America and then the Governor of Hawaii, who is a Republican, verifies Obama's birth certificate as being valid and people still question his citizenship. Yet, people are still refusing to serve in the military and, to this day, continue to protest his presidency. This displays how clear thinking and rational our populace is...doesn't it? The problem is that too many people do not realize the fact that talk show hosts are merely doing their jobs. Their job is to get you to listen to them for three to four hours a day. They are not obligated to say anything truthful at all, and yet many people take the talk show host's word as gospel, because they are the professionals; and professionals would never mislead people intentionally...right?

So I guess my question again is, why is this surprising? Are we really surprised when Don Imus made his "Nappy Headed Hos" comment? Are we really surprised that he was back on the air 7 months after that comment was made and he was fired? Are we really surprised when Rush Limbaugh or Sean Hannity make their comments about people of color, people who are low socio-economic, and people who are homosexual? Are we really surprised when Fox News fabricates a story about an African-American woman who has dedicated her life to helping farmers of all races, making her seem like a racist to put pressure on the NAACP so that the NAACP will back off of it's demand that the Tea Party monitor and sanction some of it's racially motivated rhetoric? I don't find it surprising one bit. And I ask why is it that most of America is surprised when another story like this appears in the headlines. To be fair, I have to mention liberal talk show hosts who portray all conservatives as being only concerned with money and the fact that they don't want to spend a lot of their tax money on welfare issues as being evidence that they hate poor people.

I find two things offensive about this. First of all, I find it offensive that people like this continue to have jobs and make millions of dollars a year for perpetuating hateful messages that divide Americans. Second, I find it offensive that all of this hateful speech is excused when the person in question flippantly apologizes. It's like this is all you need to do, along side with saying that everything was just to bring awareness to an issue, after saying something completely insensitive and everything else is just people overreacting. I wonder why this still goes on and the only thing I can come up with is that maybe these people really don't care about you, or America for that matter. We, as a country, are wasting a lot of time focussing on the extremes of conservativism and liberalism. We all have things in the middle that a strong majority of us agree on. We all don't want to live with a trillion dollar deficit, but we also don't want to pay more in taxes. We want government to help us with jobs, but we all agree that government control over a lot of things is not desirable. We want the best schools in the world, but don't agree that that can be fixed without funding the total development of a student. Nor do we believe that government solutions (i.e. No Child Left Behind, Benchmark Testing, CST's, Charter Schools, Vouchers) will work for everyone in every community across our country. I challenge us all, as Americans, to focus on getting the things that we all agree on put into motion and make our country the unified, so that we can return to our stature in the world.

So here's what I think we should do. We need to monitor what we listen to. One cannot get offended if one does not listen to what they are saying. And one can't listen if one isn't tuned in. We need to stop giving all of these people who pass on racism and a divisive spirit a voice in our society. Stop listening to them. It really doesn't matter why you listen to someone, if they are spreading lies and hate, then stop listening to them. I have a friend that says they listen to some of these people for entertainment. How is it entertaining listening to hateful speech? How is it entertaining listening to lies and be deceived? If you don't listen, they don't get sponsors, and they cannot continue to do their show. Lastly, get informed. They can't trick you if you do your own research. Get both sides of the story, and stop being lemmings. Sorry if the truth of these talk show hosts not really caring about you or America offends you, but I'm just thinking out loud.